If you follow me on Facebook, you know that I have dreams that I want to pursue , but lately I have not been doing that. I have been slowly letting these dreams escape and become nothing but wind in my life.
I have hindered myself from completely and unapologetically pursuing my dreams to my full extent. There is no one to blame but myself for this. I take full responsibility for not doing what I have wanted.
Back in the beginning of 2016 I had completely different plans for my life. I was going to move back to California to be a professional ballet dancer. I was going to be a ballet teacher. I was going to pursue my lifelong dream of being a professional ballet dancer. I told guys who I was dating (at separate times) that I was leaving and that was their deal breaker. I did not want to stay because of the life I imagined for myself and I did not include a place for anyone else since I thought i would be better without someone by my side even though I have complained multiple times about being a single little pringle. None of that stopped me. Until it was a bit too late to realize that the life I had imagined for myself was, in fact, a figment of my imagination. Everything went down hill, but not like crash and burn. It was more of a slowly letting down, like a feather hitting the ground after floating in the sky for some time because the wind did not let it the ground since it was not time yet.
When I hit the ground, it was not a rude awakening. It was a gentle nudge to wake up and realize that I had to make new plans for my life, and that is when the hard parts came to be alive and some of these plans have become nightmares.
Graduate school became a dream. I applied, got accepted, but the process has been more than what I expected it to be. I had a job lined up finally, but graduate school had me give that up only to ruin it. Now, I work as a part time, seasonal employee at Old Navy and wait to be called as a substitute dance teacher.
I’m not asking for a pity party or someone to feel sorry for me since I did bring this upon myself. I did not listen to my heart and mind. I only listened to one or the other and got to the place I am at now.
I realized that there are more than one graduate schools I can apply to and get accepted into. There are more opportunities where I thought there would be none.
Yesterday, I was at an interview for an internship with the Angels Baseball Organization. I only applied to the internship because I thought I would be going to school at California Baptist University to get my degree with a concentration in Sports Administration, but that’s definitely not my dream. Any who, during the interview they asked the 8 young women in the room “What are your career goals in 10 years?” and the only answer I could give was my dream I have wanted since I did my thesis for my undergrad “To develop a program where I could use dance (ballet) as a rehabilitation and conditioning process for athletes.” Now, I got every head in that room to turn my way and all eyes were on me for 30 seconds of dead silence. At that moment, I realized no single person had ever thought of what I had said and I have the opportunity to become a pioneer for both dance and sports. So that is what I am going to do. I am applying to graduate schools who have exercise science programs in human performance because I can not get anywhere near my dream with a masters in Sports Administration.
I know that this road I am going to take will have many twists, turns, and sudden stops because there are always going to be people who are against you and those who believe you are committing career suicide, but i have my facts straight and research to back it up. I am prepared for what is out there. Only question left is “Is the world prepared for this?”
A Dancer's View: My Words. My Story. My Life 